October Newsletter 2022 - Hospice of the Valleys

Thank you to our incredible advisory board

As a bereavement counselor co-facilitating groups with esteemed coleague, Chaplain Bill, we deal in the realm of legacy frequently. Providing a safe place for grief work to take place, we've sat in sacred company with precious people who have experience the death of a loved one. Remembering loved ones is both painful and enriching, wrought with feelings of deep sadness and profound love. Grief is holding the love and the painful loss in the same space.

Hospice of the Valleys bereavement program has been blessed with the dynamic duo of supervisors, Dr. Lynn Euzenas and Celeste Preble. Under their leadership the bereavement support of our organization has grown deeper and wider .And while we continue to enjoy the benefits of Celest's super vision, Dr. Lynn's retirement has left me pondering her legacy. Three things stand out in my thinking.

The legacy of listening. Dr. Lynn has taught us to be good listeners. The lesson of enduring awkward silences and patiently waiting for thoughts and stories to formulate is one we use regularly. Stories that connect deeply with the loved one who has died often emerge from the endured silence. This practice of giving the space and grace necessary to gather thoughts and articulate feelings rather than rescue them from the uncomfortable is a typical "Dr. Lynn lesson."

The legacy of laughing. Dr. Lynn has taught us to use humor, even in the bereavement group setting. This must be done with great care and not at all for the benefit of the facilitator, but always for the good of the group. Sometimes it is the blatantly obvious humor that is in the room, or sometimes it is what someone says about their loved one that tickles everyone's funny bone, but laugher always has the potential positively affecting its subjects. Mourners are human and laugher is good for the soul.

The legacy of loving. Dr. Lynn has taught us that being human is good enough for being loved. Our bereavement groups are attended by human beings with hurting hearts because of the death of a very important person in their life. When I act in the best interest of the mourner, I am loving them in the most profound way. Love-informed actions, through active listening, undivided attention and a heart open to and led by "Love" have made our groups as good as any available.

Dr. Lynn's legacy of love, laughter and listening have kept our bereavement program on a straight course and her leadership in both Spiritual Care and Bereavement have been foundational to Hospice of the Valleys' elite status as an outstanding hospice agency and a great place to work. I wish Dr. Lynn the happiest of retirements and the satisfaction of leaving a brilliant legacy.
Thank you Lynn!

Grief is a normal experience associated with loss. Most of the time grief resolves over time; but on occasion people struggle with complicated grief which may be severe and require professional care. When we experience the loss of a loved one it is normal to experience a sense of deep sadness. Grief is a normal response to loss and may typically involve a wide variety of feelings ranging from emotional numbness to anger. You may experience physical changes such as weakness, trembling, loss of appetite and difficulty sleeping. Although some people may cope very well following the loss of a spouse, it is more common to experience some degree of emotional and spiritual distress.

There is no "normal" length of time it takes to grieve. Grieving is a very individual experience that is influenced by a wide variety of factors. Grief is a journey that beings with a deep sense of sadness which at first may feel overwhelming. As you continue the journey you will find that over time the sadness slowly becomes less intense and is later interspersed with happy memories. Feeling sadness a year after the loss of a spouse is quite normal, especially if you were married for many years. Many patients benefit from attending a bereavement support group to help process through their loss. Occasionally, normal grieving can be complicated by clinical depression that may warrant treatment. If you are experiencing prolonged grief or severe and disabling symptoms such as depression, sleep or appetite disturbance or difficulty coping that is not improving over time, I advice you to consult with your physician.

Hospice of the Valleys provides bereavement services free of charge to the families of our patients for 13 months following the loss of their loved one. Hospice of the Valleys provides no-cost grief and support groups even if your loved one was not under our care. If you or someone you know would benefit from our bereavement support services, please check us out on the web at www.hospiceofthevalleys.org. If you or someone you know is grieving and would like our help please contact our bereavement department during our regular office hours M-F 8:30 AM - 4:30 pm at 951-200-7800 and a member of our bereavement team will be happy to assist you in finding the most appropriate type of support for you.

October 26th The National Day of the Deployed

Lynn's Legacy

Mike Patton, Bereavement Counselor/Spritual Care

Grief is the Price We Pay for Love

Dr. Leslee B. Cochrane, Executive Medical Director

Mike Patton,
Bereavement Counselor/Spritual Care

Dr. Leslee B. Cochrane,
Executive Medical Director