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With Age Comes Wisdom

 

By: Dr. Leslee B. Cochrane
Executive Medical Director

Dr. Leslee Cochrane - Hospice of the Valleys

You have probably heard the common expression: "you are what you eat", which emphasizes the important connection between nutrition and health. It may surprise you to find out that your attitude about aging may have as much of an impact on your health later in life as your choice of food affects your general health. More than 400 studies have demonstrated a connection between attitudes about aging and health outcomes. One such study, the Ohio Longitudinal Study of Aging and Retirement, followed 660 individuals age 50 and older to determine the impact of their attitudes about aging on health outcomes. You may be surprised to discover that this study determined that those with positive self-perceptions of aging lived 6.5 years longer than those with less positive self-perceptions regarding the aging process.

We live in a culture that idolizes youth and beauty and tends to overlook the significant contributions made by people in the later decades of life. The truth of the matter is that the idea that success favors the young is more of a myth than reality. We have all heard about how Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg both built multi-million dollar companies in their teens; but according to research conducted by MIT professor Pierre Azoulay analyzing 2.7 million people who founded companies between 2007 and 2014,; business founders age 50 were twice as likely to be a successful as those aged 30.

There are countless examples of people who have made significant contributions to society after age 60; I will mention a few of them here for your consideration. Laura Ingalls Wilder, the author of the popular book series "Little House in the Big Woods" did not publish her first book until she was 64. At age 65, Colonel Harland Sanders began Kentucky Fried Chicken using his $105.0 monthly Social Security Check. Mother Theresa won the Noble Peace Prize for her work with the poor at age 69. Famous Founding Father, Benjamin Franklin, was 70 when he signed the Declaration of Independence and Statesman; Nelson Mandela was nearly 75 when he became the President of South Africa.

Whatever your age, I hope that reading this article will challenge some of the pre-conceived notions you may have held regarding the relation between age and productivity and success. Having a healthy realization of the incredible contributions made by individuals during their later years of life will help us all benefit from the collective wisdom, knowledge and experience for those who have learned valuable life lessons through their experiences. I am currently in my 60's and I am still learning new lessons each day, which enable me to better serve our patients and community. No matter your age, there is still more to learn and even more to share and enjoy with others along the journey.

Remembrance

 

By: Dr. Lynn Euzenas
Director of Spiritual Care & Bereavement Services

Dr. Lynn Euzenas - Hospice of the Valleys

Those of you who regularly read my column know that I am somewhat of a word wonk. I get excited as a kid being told that the family is going to Disneyland when I Google The Online Etymology Dictionary, etymoline.com, and discover some new tidbit about the derivation, origin, or root meaning of a word. I can hear many of you chuckle and say, "Dr. Lynn, you really are a Geek!" I have to admit, you are right. But this fine May day I ask you to indulge me, just a little.

I just had the pleasure of making fifteen bereavement calls. These are the regular calls our bereavement department makes to the family members and loved ones of Hospice of the Valleys patients we have served. We provide this as a part of our 13 month follow up and extension of caring for our HOV families. Often when calling these long lists, we get phone answering machines, and leave a caring message and contact information so that people will know our bereavement department is there for them if they are experiencing a need for support. But today every call yielded a wonderful conversation, filled with sharing and deep memories. "Remember" became the word of the day.

Each person responded to a caring call with combinations of emotions, laughter, reports of just where they were when they were answering the phone, and waves and waves of memories. Memories which came unsolicited, freely, joyously, just raring to be shared and the missed person brought quickly back to life. They came as effortlessly and as alive as if I'd been invited to meet their loved one right now, in this moment, with them.

My "go to" etymology word companion had this gem to share about the word remember: and it was a historical tidbit, from the Century Dictionary of 1895. It said:

"Remember implies that a thing exists in the memory, not that it is actually present in the thoughts at the moment, but that it recurs without effort. Recollected means that a fact, forgotten or partially lost to memory, is after some effort recalled and present to the mid. Remembrance is the store-house, recollection the act of culling out this article and that from the repository..."

In my precious calls with families today, there were no efforts to recollect, but just an outpouring of things existing in their memories, in their "store house" of snapshots of a vibrant life. I had conversations with an elderly woman tucked in her bed, and a bargain shopper in the aisles at Walmart; a gentleman remembering his Dad with his dog's head in his lap, and a woman in the salon getting her hair done in a style she hadn't had in years. All wanted to keep talking anyway. Why? Because they wanted to unleash the love stored so perfectly as a memory. They wanted to remember.

I heard tales of a daughter who likes to remember even though those memories bring her to tears, and a son who had just watched roses blooming on a the bushes they had planted in memory of their mother and their father. I was treated to the story of a selfless father who made sure his daughter understood that God would never abandon her, and a son whose wistful memories were particularly poignant now (at the start of a baseball season) bringing him back to the hours of love shared watching the games with his Dad. The images were joyous, colorful, and clear as a bell. This is the work of the legacy each of us is entrusted with, in love, when a dear one passes: they live, through us, by the spontaneous outpouring of our shared memories.

It reminded me once again how the work of Hospice of the Valleys' bereavement care is to simply, with a listening ear and a loving word, assist the bereaved to remember, and to touch that remembrance, that proves that their love, indeed, never dies.

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