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Press Enterprise - TOP Work Places - 2014 - 2022
We Honor Veterans

February 2023

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Notes From Friends

Hospice of the Valleys serves hundreds of patients each and every year. We honor them by sharing their stores. They remind us every day of the meaning and purpose in our work and that human connection is at the heart of the hospice experience.The following are notes Hospice of the Valleys has received from the families of patients that we have been privileged to provide hospice care.

"Thank you from our family for the excellent and loving care my dear husband recently received. God bless and our thanks to the Team who took such good care of him."

"I'm a bit tardy with this writing but want you to know how much we appreciated the care by your staff: phone reception, chaplain, social worker and the whole nursing staff and also those that gave baths."

Valentine's Day
Salute to Veteran Patients

Health Benefits of Long-term Loving Relationships

Dr. Leslee B. Cochrane,
Executive Medical Director

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, love is in the air and the thoughts of many turn to romance and relationships. There is a growing body of research, which demonstrates many positive health benefits of long-term loving relationships. For example, a study in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that happily married participants had lower blood pressures than did single people. Not surprisingly, unhappily married individuals had the worst blood pressures of all. The US Department of Health and Human Services Report noted that married people enjoy better health as evidenced by a lower incidence of depression, substance abuse, fewer doctors' visits and shorter hospital stays than did their single counterparts.

Loving long-term relationships have also been shown to have beneficial effects on the immune system. A study done by Carnegie Mellon University found that people who exhibit positive emotions are less likely to get sick when exposed to cold or flue viruses. Another study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry by researchers at Ohio State University found that skin wounds healed twice as fast in couples who interacted warmly as compared to those who demonstrated hostility toward each other. Being married has been correlated with a longer life expectancy as well. According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), married couple live longer than singles and longevity gap between the two groups has been growing over the last decade.

Although further research is needed to more fully understand the benefits of loving long-term relationships, one explanation of these benefits may be due to the beneficial effects on reducing anxiety and promoting bonding. A study conducted by researchers at the State University of New York at Stony Brook used functional MRI scans to look at the brains of people in long-term loving relationships. They found that couples with strongly connected long-term relationships had an increased activation in the part of the brain known as the dopamine-reward area, which promotes a general sense of well being and happiness. There was also an increase in the activation of the area associated with bonding which produces favorable results including decreased negative responses to anxiety and stress related symptoms.

A study in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that happiness depends more on the quality of family relationships than on economic status or level of income. Valentine's Day is a wonderful reminder to all of us the importance of love and affection in nurturing long-term loving relationships. An investment in building loving relationships is an investment in your health, which will result in better health and greater happiness.

True Love

Mike Patton,
Bereavement Counselor/Spiritual Care

When I was a teenager I thought like a teenager... and true love, in my youthful way of thinking was more like the feelings Thumper described to Bambi as being "twitterpated." And even though much of the "love" associated with Valentine's Day is far closer to the feelings of being twitterpated, the actual meaning of true love has more to do with actions toward the wellbeing of the object of your love than feelings of butterflies in your tummy.

True love involves compassion. When the word "compassion" is dissected it literally means "to suffer with another." Our brave participants in the bereavement groups have learned the essence of compassion by knowing the suffering of the death of a loved one. When their "true love" has been separated from the by death, the suffer the loss. Acknowledging their grief and handling the suffering associated with it deepens their ability to be present, truly present with someone suffering loss. True love involves suffering together with the object of your love.

True love involves gratitude. It seems that the wisest authors in the world have found that giving thanks for whatever or whoever is an antidote for sorrow and distress. Poetry and wisdom often express this truth, especially in the Scriptures that I grew up with. I've been married long enough to know that disappointments, disagreements, and shared losses are common factors of our marriage, yet I find myself giving thanks daily that Lisa as stuck with me through it all. True love involves being truly grateful for the object of your love.

True love involves actions taken to meet needs. Serving others has a double blessing. On the one hand having a need met by another is a blessing. On the other hand, being the one to meet the need of another gives meaning and purpose to our life. Non matter who you are, the action of serving another is what true love is all about. It is much less selective than choosing a Valentine because we are all gifted in one way or another to met the needs of others. Having your needs met by another is an affirmation of that person's worth and value, thus the double blessing! True love involves serving the best interest of the object of your love.

So, if you want to offer true love to another I offer these three suggestions

Listen to your love with compassion.
Find out what is causing pain or suffering and stay there holding that space of suffering together.

Speak to your lover with gratitude.
Find words that accurately reflect your gratefulness...
and share them generously.

Serve your love with kind actions that meet true needs... and act with enthusiasm.

While these suggestions are not typically found on a Valentine's Day card, the participation in truly loving others is tastier than chocolate, more beautiful than flowers, and more valuable than diamonds... Oo-la-la!

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  • Top Work Places 2014-2021 Award
  • Hospice Honors Elite
  • Hospice of the Valleys - Celebrating over 40 years
  • We Honor Veterans
  • Community Health Accreditation Partner Seal
  • Hospice Care
  • Introduction to Hospice
  • Choosing Hospice
  • Paying for Hospice
  • Hospice Of The Valleys Service Areas
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  • Types of Care
  • Meet The Team
  • Testimonials & Videos
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  • End of Life Option Act
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