As Valentine's day approaches, love is in the air and the stores are filled with heart shaped boxes of chocolates, roses and teddy bears. When I was in grade school, Valentine's day was more about the candy than the Valentines cards; but when I approached courting age I realized that I would need to up my game if I wanted to impress my sweetheart. Fortunately for me, the flowers and chocolates paid off and on April 13th 1991 my best friend became my dearly beloved wife.

I felt like the luckiest man on earth when I recited my wedding vows "to take Susan as my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward!" What we have discovered together since our wedding day is that the second part of the wedding vows becomes the most important: "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death to us part ..." In the past 28 years we have seen both the better and the worse, the richer and the poorer and both sickness and health. Through those experiences we have discovered that the secret to navigating through the highs and lows in life is found by continually learning to practice what it means "to love and to cherish."

Love is a complex word with multiple meanings in our culture and so it comes as no surprise that there are multiple definitions for the word "love" in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Love is actually listed as both a noun and a verb and the top two definitions of love as a noun refer to the type of love a mother has for her child and the type of attraction and affection felt between lovers. The number one definition under love as a verb is to hold dear or to cherish. It seems to me that "to love and to cherish" are like two sides of a precious coin in that they are distinctive; yet both part of a unified whole. The romantic type of love is what draws us toward marriage and the verb or action of love- to cherish each other is necessary to sustain it.

To cherish means to keep or to old dear and to provide care with affection. Whether or not you are married, we must all face many challenges in life including sickness and health. Some will face the incredible challenge of having a loved one afflicted with a serious and debilitating disease such as dementia for which there is no cure. Whether that loved one is your spouse, your parent or just a dear friend, they desperately need to be loved and cherished. In my work as a physician I have been involved in providing end of life care for hundreds of patients and I am continually amazed by the difference that having a loving family member or friend present can make to the dying patient. This Valentine's Day, Hospice of the Valleys applauds the countless caregivers who continue to provide loving and compassionate end of life care to loved ones even when their loved one may no longer recognize who they are. Their selfless service exemplifies what it truly means "to love and to cherish till death do us part".